Waiting

It seems to be a season of waiting. For military folks, now is often the time we wait on orders. Or wait for a loved one to come back from a deployment. For others, it's news about an adoption. Still others are anxiously waiting to get pregnant or for a child to be born. It seems like a lot of my friends are waiting on something.

We're waiting for orders. Well, we know where we're going, but we're waiting until it's official. We put in our request back in September, and heard back late January where it would be. Now we're waiting again until we get our paper orders. And each step is taking longer than we had anticipated.

We've been here 4 years. Two years into our assignment, my dear friend moved away. To Oklahoma. We were kind of hoping that we'd be restationed soon after that. I kind of had it in my mind to "coast" a little, and not invest energy into making more friends, if we were just going to be leaving anyway. Well, that didn't happen. God kept placing people into my path who needed to be there (none quite as wonderful as my dear Oklahoma friend, but it definitely seemed as he deliberately said not to give up on living life here). Friends seem to pop up and move away, but God never seems to let me just coast until the end.

Just today I had thought to myself that this place is kind of ugly in the winters. And just a few hours later, on the way back from the commissary,  I crossed the Potomac River and the sun was shining over the glistening water. It was beautiful. And I knew that I am not supposed to sell my time here short.

Waiting in expectation for the next thing and being content where you are at the time seem to be at odds. Do they have to be? Can you hold both attitudes at the same time?

MilSpouse Friday Fill-in

Q. A different twist on last week’s question. This week, the first question is: what’s the nicest thing a MILSPOUSE has ever done for you? (brought to you from navy_smurfette)

I'm the membership chair/slave for the area spouses' club, and I think the nicest thing a MILSPOUSE has done for me is to write a little note along with their membership information saying how much they appreciate what I do. It really makes me happy.

Q. How often do you drive faster than the speed limit?I really try not to drive over the speed limit. It's kind of hard to do here in DC, when everyone seems to be flying by, but I try to keep it at the speed limit.

Q. Did you have a nickname in school? If so, what was it?

I didn't really have one, but occasionally people would call me "(my last name) cookie" because my mom always made chocolate chip cookies for events.

Q. If your life was a book, what would the title be and how would it end?

Today, I think the book would be titled "despite her best efforts..." Otherwise it should be "Counting my blessing and recounting my tales". It would end with a Hawaiian sunset.

Q. Look back (in your planner if you have one) to September 14th… what did you do that day?

Sept 14 was the first MOPS meeting I attended. I really value these meetings - it helps me feel like an adult again and I love talking to other moms. This day, the speaker talked about being marshmallows and toothpicks. It was a really good lesson!


See the whole list at Wife of A Sailor.

Letters from on base last week

Dear woman in the car next to me,

I see you're smoking. At the GAS STATION. I know you're IN your car, but please, really, do you have to smoke AT THE GAS STATION? It's kind of windy, and the doors are open. If there was an attendant in the little booth, I would report you, but as there is not, I'm not quite sure what to do. All that I ask is that you please do not blow us all up.

Thanks,

me




Dear self,

When you enter the commissary and cannot find any shopping carts (aka buggies, whatever they call them in your neck of the woods), turn around and go home. If you persist and hunt them down outside, and still cannot find any carts, go home and wait until tomorrow. You see, the commissary has A LOT of carts. If none are available, that means they're ALL IN USE. All of the carts in use means that there are A LOT of people shopping at the commissary today (even though it's NOT a payday). It'll just be better if you come back later.

Not really paying that much attention,

Me

It is finished.

Thank heaven.

I somehow was convinced to be the Assistant Treasurer for our local CG spouses' club. Sounds easy enough, right? There is no attendance requirement, so if Lu'au is having a bad day, I don't HAVE to be at meetings. They said I was in charge of taking the membership forms and entering them into a spreadsheet to be made into a directory. This could be done, they said, at my own pace with no real deadlines. Cool. Sounds like the perfect responsibility list for me! I'm happy to help, so I said yes. (Surely there are some retired Admirals' wives' dressed in white gloves and pearls, giggling in a corner because they have pulled off another con on an unsuspecting junior officer's wife.)

That whole little "entering membership forms" doesn't really mean *only* that. It means being places to ADVERTISE membership. Like the Coast Guard Day picnic. No problem. I can plan volunteers to be there, coordinate with the Picnic Chair to get us a table... as soon as I can find out who that person is. I can do that.

Oh yeah, the membership kick-off event is a Welcome Tea, usually held at the Commandant's house. And guess who plans that? The ASSISTANT treasurer! Uh... ok. So much for "at my own pace" and "with no real deadlines".

I like planning parties... but this one seemed a little "higher stakes" than most parties I plan. There were about 80 people there - from the Commandant himself (who, ironically enough, I didn't ever speak with) to other Admirals wives & husbands, to other lowly spouses like me.

I tried to plan the best I could and I think things went pretty well overall. I was in charge of announcing new members and I think I missed a few. And then I forgot to ask if there was anyone I missed. Ooops. So much for welcoming someone into the group.

Being the people-pleaser I am, I am really nervous that people weren't happy with the event. That I did something wrong. That I forgot something important. AND IT'S ALREADY DONE. And yet I'm worrying. Worrying that my major (yet still unknown to me) faux-pas will somehow affect my husband's career. Worrying that I shouldn't have agreed to help in the first place. Worrying that I was way in over my head...

So much for day-after regrets. Hopefully everyone had fun. I'll make it up to the new members and send them a letter or email or some sort of concession.

le sigh.

Bad Mommy

Hubby had a wedding to go to/be in over Memorial Day and we decided that it'd be too much for baby Lu'au and I to go along. He went to play in the Mediterranean and we went to see my family in Michigan.

We had tons of fun with my family. We went to the beach (I love Lake Michigan) I went fabric shopping. It was very relaxing and good. Until... my mom got pink eye. Yup, Lu'au's Grandma got pink eye. You know, the one who had been holding her and playing with her all the time? Great. So she washed her hands a ton and didn't hold Lu'au for 2 whole days. Then... on the day we left, Lu'au got pink eye in her right eye with a vengeance. All the while, I got a sore throat. I thought it was due to drier air or something, and focused on baby girl's poor eye.

I'm not sure what exactly happened, but Lu'au's pink eye spread to the other eye. And she got whatever congestion junk I have. And the other day she had a fever. Fabulous. So she has to have eye drops every 4 hours. And off-brand "Tylenol" (Tylenol is bad due to the recall). Her nose runs so I have to suction bulb it clean. All things she HATES. She has trouble sleeping and eating. Aside from her eye drop/Tylenol regimen, there's not much I can do.

Oh, and did I mention she's only gained about 1/2 a pound since her 4 month appointment and she's now a few weeks over 5 months old?

I have a headache, an achy ear (do I have an ear infection?), and am tired from my own sickness and staying up with her...

I tried to call Tricare to set an appointment to get her ears checked (and mine too) for ear infection, but their computers are down.

Mommyhood = fail.

Military Spouse Bloghop (aka I'm totally Ellen's copycat)

The fabulous Ellen had this on her blog and I thought it'd be fun to try too... I've been trying to blog more, and hope that this will help motivate me to post more often.

Riding the Roller Coaster is hosting a Military Spouse Bloghop. What a fun way to find other military spouse blogs!

My name is JulieAnn. Julie'uli'uli is a play on my name (from my hula sister back in Hawai'i) but also an 'uli'uli is a hula implement. I started dancing hula when we were stationed in Hawai'i and have somehow managed to find a halau (hula school) each place we've been stationed since then.

My dear husband (Captain Obvious or CO) is active duty in the Coast Guard. He has been a ship captain, but these days is found at a desk staring at spreadsheets - you can guess which one he likes better. We've been married for almost 4 years, and he's been in the CG much longer than that.

Baby girl (baby 'uli'uli? I need to find a name for her!) was born Christmas Eve, and is an absolute delight! You'll find her and I strolling around our town or playing on our carpet most days. She's into rolling over and playing with her rattle recently.

I've been trying to write more lately - I think it helps me do something for myself and serves as a good way to document life as it happens (moving so often has a way of making me forget things!).

Some of my favorite things are (in no particular order):

• ice cream
• traveling
• quilting and learning to sew
• learning to cook and sharing recipes
• life with a newborn
• photography
  
• hula and Hawai'i
  
• the Coast Guard and the military spouse life
• parentheses and ellipses (obviously...)
  

And I there I was feeling sorry for myself...

Today at Lamaze class, I met a lady who is giving birth while her husband is deployed. Her sister so generously is being her birth coach. I am so thankful that my dear husband is (hopefully) going to be there for me while going through labor. I'm thankful both for for my sake and for his. I just can't imagine if the first time dh meets his baby girl would be three months after she's born...

And now we are so happy, we do the dance of joy

THE WHITE HOUSE

Office of the Press Secretary
__________________________

______________________________________
For Immediate Release November 11, 2009


STATEMENT BY THE PRESIDENT ON S.475

Today I have signed into law S. 475, the "Military Spouses Residency Relief Act". This Act, among other things, would provide that when a service member leaves his or her home State in accord with military or naval orders, the service member's spouse may retain residency in his or her home State for voting and tax purposes, after relocating from that State to accompany the service member.

When the military orders service members to move, spouses who move with them often have to pay taxes in a new State or locality and lose the right to vote in the place considered to be home. This legislation will alleviate these and other burdens on our military families. As the Congress has recognized, and as the legislative history reflects, this legislation is an important means of maintaining the morale and readiness of our Armed Forces and significantly enhances the ability of our military to effectively recruit and retain these highly valued service personnel.


BARACK OBAMA

THE WHITE HOUSE,
November 11, 2009.

"87 - more than just a Coastal Patrol Boat" or "Yay for HALIBUT Day!"

Ok, so you all know by now that I'm kind of a dork when it comes to the Coast Guard. Reference me getting my picture taken with ADM Allen at my graduate school graduation.

You now have more fuel for your fire -
When CO and I were counting down until our wedding, I would try to make big numbers a little more relevant by comparing them to lengths of Coast Guard cutters (hey, doesn't EVERYONE do that?). We started off with the Eagle (the CG's training barque - that CO was on while at the Academy), and moved down from there...

We got really excited when it got down to 110 (he was on a 110-foot ship at the time), and then 87, and 82...

It would have been cool had we been counting down the same way for the baby's due date. But alas, pregnancy brain has taken full control over my faculties and we have not been counting this way. But today is the day! Today is 87 days - and 87 feet equal the size of Marine Protector Class Coastal Patrol Boat (I don't know why it's called a boat when it's technically a ship). And CO used to be on one of those, the HALIBUT... Yay!

I also have one more chance at playing this game. In 5 days, we'll be down to 82' ships. And we'll celebrate POINT BRIDGE Day! (82s are now decommissioned so don't try to look them up as being active.)

Today's Deep Thoughts...

• No matter how few groceries you're going to buy, take all possible reusable grocery bags into the store. Somehow, the baggers at the commissary can stretch 4 items into 3 reusable bags and then "double bag" one bottle of dish soap into 1 paper bag and 2 plastic bags...
  

• I am wearing a shirt that Shad really likes tonight in hopes that he'll be so distracted that he will not notice I haven't cleaned much of the house today. I'm not too hopeful that it'll work, but hey, it's worth a shot, right?
  

• I got really scared today because I got a letter from the DOD. Thankfully, it's not about my lack of base etiquette, or crankiness at the commissary due to their lack of canned pumpkin puree (they say it'll be in by the end of this week - FYI), or frustration with the gate guards regarding our car registration, or my "happening to not mention that I had already had an early ultrasound at my civilian provider" when first appearing at the MTF (Military Treatment Facility - aka doctor's office/hospital). Instead, shock of all shocks, it's actually a survey asking about my satisfaction with a visit to a MTF for a referral. I'll be happy to fill out the survey. It was one of the better experiences I have ever had - everyone there was very helpful and great. Yay! Who knew they actually cared?

• I got to go to a Welcome Tea yesterday for a Spouses' Club that I have just joined. I got to meet a lot of other wives and it was really nice to be around and mingle with other wives who have been through the same things.
  

Wednesday already?

Well, I'm happy to report it's Wednesday. And Wednesday's almost done. My brain is kind of scattered, so you get a bullet list of my thoughts...

• I've been trying a ton of new recipes lately - it's been a lot of fun. Check out Flaky Apple Turnovers and 5-Minute Individual Potato Gratins.

• Our local commissaries and some grocery stores (aka all of the ones I go to) are out of normal, canned (not pumpkin pie mix) pumpkin puree. I really REALLY want to make pumpkin bread one of these days, and I guess I'll have to roast and puree the pumpkin myself. That could get interesting. But then I can also make pumpkin seeds!
  

• Tomorrow I'm going to listen to a congressman talk about the Military Spouse Residency Relief Act. I'm tired of not knowing where I'm a resident, or having to change it with each PCS. I vote in and still have my driver's license from the lovely state of Hawaii. I technically live in Virginia. My daughter will be born in Maryland (if things go as planned). Um... wouldn't it be easier if I could be a resident of the same state as my husband, who is not a resident of any of the states listed above...

• We're probably going to try to paint baby girl's room this weekend. Hubby wants to paint it light pink. Who am I to say no?

• I get to go to a "tea" this weekend. I wonder if there will be crumpets as well. I hope I can find something appropriate to wear!

• Baby (and I) sleeps much better when I don't eat sugary foods (including ice cream and chocolate malts) shortly before bed. I now eat them during the day ;) Ha!

Military Program - Budgeting for Baby

I attended a class called "Budgeting for Baby/Baby Bundles" that was offered through a local Army Post. It had some good information on budgeting and basic baby care. This class was pretty small, though another class was full. I got tons of useful information on caring for baby - lots of handouts that I gave CO to read. Also, they gave us these cute little layettes for the baby - diapers, wipes, onesies, tons of stuff!

Also, the other lady who was in class with me talked about her church and so we tried it and liked it! We've been going there for about a month now.

Talk about getting a lot out of a military program!

ps - a lot of the stuff in the basket is pink. No, we don't know what sex our baby is yet. Hopefully we'll find out on Wednesday. I tried to pick a basket with gender-neutral stuff, but they all had some pink in it!

Coast Guard Day!

We went to the Coast Guard Day picnic in our area today. Coast Guard Day is actually August 4. It celebrates the founding of the Coast Guard, hence the Coast Guard Festival being the first week in August (in the fabulous town of Grand Haven, MI).

It was one of the first CG Day celebrations I have been to, and it was nice to hang out with/meet some of the people CO works with, and to see some of their families too.

I guess I've been kind of lonely here. I don't have a job. I don't take classes (well, except hula once a week). I have to figure out some way to productively rejoin society. Otherwise, I'll continue sleeping in and doing nothing worthwhile all day long. I guess I'm spoiled because I don't HAVE to work and I can just sit around eating and growing a child, but still... I'm getting to the point where I'm having awkward conversations with people in grocery stores.

It was nice to get out and socialize a bit today. Thanks for having a birthday, Coast Guard.

Dear Air Force

Dear Air Force,

I am grateful that I can use your medical care facilities (also known as military treatment facilities), but just for your information, it is kind of awkward to start off with an 18 year old boy taking my blood pressure, weight, and giving me the first part of my exam. I do realize that I have an aversion to hospitals, so I'm not that comfortable in them anyway. I guess I just have to get used to the teenage boys, because I'm doubtful you'll change.

v/r,

me

Harvard?

This has been my first experience using MTF (Military Treatment Facilities) for my medical care. Before, I had military insurance but I was able to choose my own civilian doctors (as long as they took my insurance).

I took a pregnancy test and had an ultrasound with my beloved OB back in Nashville. We heard the baby's heartbeat and saw it was progressing as it should. Good news!

Then we moved to the DC area, military capital of the world. No more civilian providers for me. It took me a little bit to get used to the idea of not having much choice, but I think I'm good now. When we got to DC, I figured out which military base I wanted to go to, and then went over the whole process again - pregnancy test, etc! Apparently we still have some North/South distrust/animosity...

After the North confirmed my pregnancy, I was able to go and see an OB here. Funny story - I had been avoiding doctors in Nashville who had gotten their degrees from a certain medical college, hearing that the standards weren't as high as others. I had managed to avoid them while I was in Nashville. Wouldn't you know that I started chit-chatting with the OB doctor on base and he said he had studied in Nashville. I then made the mistake of asking where he had studied, praying he would answer "Vanderbilt" only to have my fears confirmed that he indeed had studied at my avoided university.

At one point, we discussed what prenatal vitamins I am taking. I showed him what my Nashville OB had prescribed, and he read the name "Prenate DHA. What's DHA?" I then, in some weird twist of fate, tried to explain it to him. Me, explaining DHA to my OB. Sweet.

Me: "Well, DHA is supposed to promote brain development"
Him: "Oh, that's good."
Me: "Yes, it's the new 'hot topic' among pediatricians. The pediatric pathologists I used to work with at Vandy suggested that I look for DHA supplements, but then my OB prescribed this prenatal vitamin."
Him: "That's nice. I had never heard of it. Guess we all can't have Harvard degrees now, can we?"

What does that mean? Perhaps I should go to the other military base for treatment? Or just pray I don't get him again?

I'm still learning...

Yesterday I went on base to go shopping at the commissary (still using the bags E got for me - thank you!). It was late afternoon, as I had actually gotten some things done!

I got in through the gate (as I got a new ID card after I left mine in Florida). I drove along the road to the commissary, listening to the music on the radio. Some kids were trying to cross the road ahead. I noticed the driver in the other lane had stopped, so I too, came to a stop and let the kids cross the road. The other driver remained paused, which I assumed meant they knew the kids or were picking them up or something.

I continued down the road, and other drivers were stopped at a light. Even after it was green. This is where I became confused. Of course, the light was less than 1/4 mile away from the commissary. So I pulled in, parked, and then realized they were playing the National Anthem. At 5:00 exactly. DUH! No wonder everyone had stopped what they were doing. I must have looked like a horribly inconsiderate person, trucking along to the grocery store for my orange juice. Not honoring the national anthem on a military base? Ooops. Someone should give me a manual on how to behave on a base. Is there anything else I should know before I completely embarass myself?

This again?

CO is polishing his uniform shoes tonight, in anticipation of reporting in tomorrow. Sigh. I guess his student life is over. :(


I'm trying to decide if I should go to nursing school or not. Hmmm. The deadline for submitting my deposit is tomorrow and I still haven't decided. Swell.

We're here

We made it.

We're looking for houses/condos/townhomes/apartments/places to live, and it's not a fun process. We can't seem to find things in good locations that have good space or good kitchens or anything. It seems like we have to sacrifice at least two things with each place...

Which is more valuable? Location? Space (900 sq ft?)? Comfort? Not smelling like curry? I'm having problems prioritizing.

CO actually said to me tonight that maybe living on a base wouldn't be so bad. They give you a house - some of them aren't that bad... You don't have to deal with realtors or setting up a billion appointments or whatever... hmmm.

But on the other hand, we've been able to take advantage of the commissary while we've been here - it's the first time since we've been married we've really had an accessible commissary (or two!). Holy cow! Some things are really cheap there. Other things, not so much, but overall, I think it cuts down prices.

We found out.

The detailer called CO this weekend. Yes, this weekend. We're heading east. This position wasn't in our top 5 choices, but I think it will be good. I will get to hang out with some of my friends I haven't seen in a while.

At least we know.

Not that he's exact or anything...

CO and I share a car. Last year, I dropped him off at school and picked him up. This year, I get spoiled and CO drops me off at work every morning and picks me up in the evenings on his way to and from school. I work 8-5, but sometimes it takes me a little bit of time to wrap up whatever project I'm working on, and actually head downstairs to where he picks me up. Here's today's dialogue about what time he was going to pick me up (done via email).

CO: What time should I pick you up today?
me: Just after 5, is that ok?
CO: Yes, see you then.

...

CO: Running 12 minutes late.

Who says that? TWELVE minutes late? Not ten, not fifteen. Twelve.

That's my husband.