Today

Today we woke up and I was thankful that I am alive. That we have electricity. That we have running water. That things weren't as bad with the hurricane as they could have been.

Today I found out we lost a dear friend, and I am extremely saddened by it.

Today would have been 40 weeks pregnant with our second child. Unfortunately, we lost the baby at nearly 12 weeks. I can't figure out how to mourn appropriately. It's been a lot harder overall, than I thought it would be. I'm starting to get back to my normal self. But still, I don't trust my body. It's kind of hard to explain, but that's the best way I can describe it.

There isn't a specific way how to mourn the loss of an unborn baby. I'm sad because I thought I'd be pregnant again by the time this date came around, but I'm not. Way to set an unrealistic expectation for myself, and then have no way to really make sure it would happen. Thankfully, with all of the hurricane craziness lately, I haven't thought much about the due date being today. I'm just holding onto Hebrews 11:1 - Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. I'm full of hope.

Honesty is the best policy...

I applied for a job as a receptionist at a department at dh's school. It would have been a 9-5 job in the same building as his school. I had envisioned us riding to school together, eating lunch together when possible... it being quite cute. Plus, it paid more. Well, I think it paid more. They told me I would be an hourly employee, earning between $9 and $16 per hour. Gee, could you narrow it down a little. $9/hour might not be worth it... $16 per hour definitely would be nice!

I had two interviews with them. The first was normal, about an hour. The second, was between 3 and 4 hours long. For a receptionist position. Crazy. I debated at the second interview whether or not I should tell them there's a possibility we'd go to to Australia this fall. I decided it'd be better to tell them.

I got this email on Friday.

It was so nice getting to know you during the interview process. We all thought you were delightful and qualified for the position. We also appreciated your honestly about your long term availability through the fall of 2008. However, we have decided to offer the position to someone who has the potential for long term availability. We all wish you the best and hope to see you again at one of the school events.

(bold and italics added by me)

Shoot. Honesty IS the best policy, right?? I didn't want their stinking job anyway.