Stealth

Dear person/people who drive around our neighborhood in two black, domestic-made SUVs, one closely tailing the other,

We realize that you are Important. You must be Important with not one SUV, but TWO SUVs providing you a ride to and from where ever it is that you are going.

I would like to note that I assume you're a politician, due to the fact you have government plates and need two vehicles to "provide security and create jobs" read:" waste gas/create more emissions/whatevs". And I would also like to note that just because you may have some part in the law-making process, it does not mean you can break the laws. Laws like each vehicle stopping at stop signs. I realize our neighborhood has lots of stop signs, and it is annoying for each car to stop, but, as you recall when making the laws, IT'S FOR A REASON. Even the people from Maryland who cut through the neighborhood during rush hour slow down from 40 mph and at least tap their brakes for stop signs (speed limit is 25).

Oh, and FYI, I hope you're not trying to operate any covert business, as having TWO SUVs totally blows your cover.

We will be watching to see if you continue to ride around with your TWO SUVs, the second car ignoring stop signs, and judge how you fared in midterm elections.

Sincerely,

me

Dear...

Dear neighbor #1,

It was great to meet you yesterday. Sorry it had to be under these circumstances. Thank you so much for jumpstarting our car. I really had no idea what I would have done without you. Also, we hope that we can all hang out this summer around the pool.

Sincerely,
Your grateful neighbor



Dear neighbor #2,

It's exciting that you're working on your condo. That should help us all, pushing up all of our property values. We're excited that you're getting it done quickly. Please, though, we really do value our sleep, and hope that you would stop using your circular saw after 11pm (2300 hours if you're military). I think it might help the world be a better place.

Sincerely,
Your tired neighbor



Dear drivers in this town,

I know, I know, Earth Day was less than a week ago. We're each trying to do our part to save the environment. But choosing not to use your turn signal does not really conserve that much energy. Especially when you're driving in your Hummer or Tahoe. Also, when you cut someone off, it's polite to wave and pretend you are grateful for me not hitting you. Just a thought.

Sincerly,
the girl in the XTerra.