Daddy!

We try to keep a bedtime routine for Lu'au. We eat dinner, we let her play a little, we give her a bath, Daddy reads her stories (while Mama makes the bottle), Mama feeds her a bottle, then she goes to sleep. Or at least that's the plan.

Last night was no different in our routine. We ate dinner. She played. I took her upstairs and started running the bath water. Daddy finished dishes downstairs. She noticed his absence by the bath, went to the door, opened it, and yelled "Dad-dy! Dad-dy!" It was adorable. She knew he was gone and how to get him to come upstairs. It worked.

Today's Lesson: Mom Jeans

Today I changed Lu'au's bedding. Changing crib bedding stinks. It's so tight on the mattress that it definitely prevents suffocating your child, but also renders the parents unable to change it without a serious struggle. I probably don't change it nearly enough, but instead, I wait for leaky diapers, snotty noses, or vomit episodes.

Today was a leaky diaper. Everything was wet. Time for a bedding change. So, like most stay at home moms I know, I brought the baby into the room with me and shut the door. I gave Lu'au a few toys to play with and got to business.

I decided to take the mattress out of the crib, change the bedding, then put it back in the crib. I was wrestling the new, clean, bedding onto the mattress when Lu'au came up behind me. She likes to come close to me and pull up to standing while holding onto me. This time was different. Apparently my cute, low-rise, American Eagle jeans had slouched down a bit and I was wearing them plumber-style. Lu'au came right over and poked her little finger in the exposed crack.

It wasn't until then I realized the point of Mom jeans. Perhaps I might be investing in some in the near future.

FYI

The other day my niece asked me if I am allergic to anything. I said no (it's probably not appropriate to talk about birth control pills with a 4 year old). I asked her if she's allergic to anything. She said yes - "bears and dinosaurs." Come to think of it, those are probably hereditary.

Maybe I should add them to my allergy list... (along with work and housecleaning).

From the mouths of babes...

My 2-year old nephew can be pretty funny. I guess he's just starting to eat with silverware but wants to assert his independence. He was eating the other day and picked up a few items, put them on a spoon, and tipped them over before the spoon reached his mouth. He looked sternly at the food and said "hang on tight!"

Those three little magic words...

There's nothing like the sound of those three magic words as soon as you walk in the door.

In the wrong context, they bring about fear and trepidation.

One should never rush into the three little words unaware, but that is exactly what I did last week.

As a substitute preschool teacher, there's nothing scarier than hearing these three magic words -

Hand, Foot, & Mouth... (disease).

Who hires a substitute teacher and doesn't notify them that there's an outbreak of Hand Foot & Mouth Disease first?

Yuck.

Something I said today...

"No, we don't put our zucchini in our pockets. We need to eat our zucchini."

Yup, I'm substitute teaching at a daycare. Swell.

We finished :)

We did it! CO and I ran the entire 10K race - even without training adequately! We finished at a not-so-glamorous time of 1:06, but hey... not too bad!

I'm Miss Grumpy Pants right now, as I often am on Tuesdays after I spend my first of three days nannying. Today was mostly good, but in the last hour, he tried to bite me because I wouldn't do something. That makes me cranky.

In other news, I'm reading Cry the beloved country. And loving it.

Nobody likes a grumpy pants, so I'm going to go and get some food. Adios, keiki.

The final week of playground musings...

Happy 4th of July~

Yes, I've been holding out on you. Life is settling down a bit (relatively). DH and I have reunited (yay!!!) and we're spending time with my family in Michigan after I spent some time with some of the best friends a girl could have - love you! More updates from the past two weeks to come... I promise.

Without further adieu, here are some funny quotes from my last week at the preschool.

Student: We drove the party car.
Me: The party car?
Student: Yes, our Lexus is the party car.
Me: Oh.

Me: No sitting in teacher chairs. (aka the kids aren't allowed to sit in our chairs)
Student: I'm not sitting. I'm being a statue.

Student: More cowbell!
(note - she's 4. Would you let your 4 year old watch SNL?)

Student singing: I like to move it, move it. I like to move it, move it.

Student praying before snack: Dear God, thank you for the planet. Thank you for donkeys, thank you for lamps, thank you for the flowers and the trees. Thank you for carpet. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Elephants

At school, the kids are completely fascinated with my booboo. Some kids were just noticing it on Wednesday and Thursday, so the inquiries lasted all week long (today I have off because we have a hula show). One girl came up to me and asked me what happened to my leg. I said I got hurt. She asked me how I did it. I asked her what she thought happened. She asked, "Did you trip over an elephant?" Yup. Watch out for elephants. You might trip over them and skin your knee.

We have outdoor playtime on our playground at school every day if possible. The kids play on the slide, in the tree house, in the sandbox, and in the little pea-sized rocks. One of the older girls really likes to play with my hair, which I allow some days. She gave me a few side ponytails, turned too look at her creation from the front, and exclaimed, "Miss Julie, you look like an elephant!" Great. Just what a girl wants to hear.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Apparently to boys of a 4-year-old age, my boo-boo is the coolest thing since sliced bread. I've now joined a "band of brothers" who get together and discuss "wounds." It cracks me up - sometimes I can barely see their ouchie, other times I wonder how they survived. One of the boys asks me at least twice a day how my leg is, and actually asks to see it. I'm officially cool in ways I never thought possible, well, at least to the 4 year old boys at my school.

A girl today at lunch wanted more milk. Normally kids just yell across the room, "Miss Julie (yes, I really am Mrs. Julie, but despite my best efforts to correct them, they still call me Miss.) Miss Julie, I need some milk." We try to get them to say, "Please may I have..." or something similar, usually with little success. Today, a new girl wanted milk. She raised her hand politely and asked me for some milk please. I picked up her glass to start pouring, and she immediately said thank-you. I complimented her on her manners, saying, "Sofia, you have good manners." To which she politely sighed, "I do."

Overheard on the playground this week...

R2D2 is a silly droid and I like him... C3PO said no more adventures, but R2D2 didn't listen.

She got water on me. I'm all dripped.

Do you know what city my dad lives in? He lives at in town.

This is a special kind of macaroni and cheese. It's homemade.

me - We don't play guns at school.
him - This isn't a gun. This is a chainsaw.
(I then had to proceed to tell him at school we don't play anything that TSA would not approve to carry on a plane.)

me - What do you have in your hand?
him 2 - A toy boat.
me - What are you using it for?
him 2 - As a gun. But I just finished having it be a gun.
me - That's what I thought.

me - I can't come up into the treehouse today. I have a skirt on.
him - YES! YOU! ARE! (punctuated by punching his fist in the air with each word)


These kids model in play what they see in their daily lives and it makes me laugh. We have the play cars for them, and what do they do? They pull up to a post in the fence and order cheeseburgers, fries, and Cokes.

David was playing in the "home center" - the place where they have the kid-sized refrigerator, stove, table, dress up clothes, etc. Apparently it was his turn to make dinner. What did he do? He called on the pretend telephone to order pizza. He ordered his pizza then turned to look at his friends and proceeded to ask each of them what they wanted to drink, parroting it back into the phone so each friend would get what they ordered. Ha!

And I like your blond hair too.

I got a sweet card today. It came along with some homemade chocolate chip cookies and a gift card to a local coffee shop. But neither of those aren't my favorite part. The note read:

Miss Julie,
I like you because you make beds for us. And I like your blond hair too.
Love,
Andrew

Thank you for your time and care for Andrew this year. He was insistent that we make a card for you - so that itself says something! ~his parents


This boy is one of the sweetest in the school. I make the cots for the 4 year olds' nap time, and tuck them in before I leave for my lunch. He's one of my favorites. I'll miss him. Thanks Andrew!

Kid talk

"What in the snowangel are you doing?

"Miss Julie, Mark does not want to marry you." (on the playground, completely unprompted.)
(btw... DH was very relieved to hear he has no competition from this 4 year old. Just kidding - he knows I'm all his.)

"I. AM. A. PICKLE!" (shouted while in the bathroom)

"Ah, that's what I really needed." (after getting a drink)

"I really, really hurt. I hurt to death."

Child sits down on the bench next to me.
"Are you ok?" - me
"Just resting my legs." - him (what 4 year old needs to rest his legs after 20 minutes on a playground??)

"I'll be the princess. You be the snake."

"I'm going to get a hyena at the hyena store. I need three of them." (this coming from a child whose dad tells him he coughs "like a puma.")

So, that's a kind of a good thing, right?

I babysat two girls last week. One was 6, the other, 4. Their mother is expecting the third child.

I was waiting for the inevitable question, and it came about 30 minutes before I put them to bed.

"Miss Julie, are you pregnant? Our mom is pregnant."

"No. Do I look pregnant?

"No. You don't look fat. You're skinny like Hannah Montana, but with a fatter head."

from the mouth of babes...

teacher: How was your snack?
student: It disappeared!
teacher: Where did it go?
student a. In my tummy
student b. It went to eat a flower

teacher: What does that say? (about a sign on the treehouse on the playground)
student: It doesn't have a nail.
teacher: What does it say, though?
student: I don't know. I can't spell.

She burped a beaver on my gankey.
(Translation: His sister had a fever and "threw up a little" on his blanket. Get it?)

I have a boo-boo. The only person who can make it better is Neosporin. It's the official medicine of boo-boos.

It smells like bathing suits outside.

Oh. My. Gosh. (think Janice from Friends) The tablecloths are pink.

Miss Julie, if you come to my house I'm going to lock my doors and windows. You can't come in. (Apparently a threat. I had given her a time out for doing something blatantly wrong.)


HWotD:
uliuli - dark color such as deep blue of the sea, deep green of vegetation, dark grey of clouds (sometimes has bad connotation because associated with darkness)
"ooh-lee-ooh-lee"

polū - blue, not blue of sea or sky, but of clothes or European-introduced objects
"poh-loooh"

Something you just don't get to say everyday...

... but I got to say today.

"Stop putting rocks in your shorts."

last time with this kid, it was in his socks. Before that it was in his underwear.

Let's hope it stops there.


HWotD:
pōhaku - rocks, stone, mineral, tablet
"poe-hah-coo"

More gems overheard at preschool this week

Prayers:

- Dear God, thank you for all the people in the city. Thank you for all of the people in their cars going to the city.
- Dear God, thank you for Transformers. Thank you for Roboquad. Thank you for Robosapien, and for all of my other WowWees. Thank you for our food. Thank you for chickens. Thank you for cows. (a carnivorous, robot-loving 3-year old).


Close, but no cigar:

- Look at that porcupine over there. Don't touch it! (about a pinecone)
- I have a half sand dollar, isn't it cool? (about a half dollar, Kennedy-style)
- Who is that man, him with the candy cane? (about a father who had knee surgery and needs a cane to walk. Wouldn't it be cool though if he did have a candy cane instead of metal one??)


Joke:

A cat is going to drive in someone's car. And he's going to jump everywhere in the car and drive with his long hands.

Miscellaneous:

- I can't wake up now. I need to stretch and scratch. (3 year old boy. It starts that early.)
- I can't get in line. I'm making a friend. And it's Jenny.
- I found gold. (student)
Cool! What are you going to make with it? (me)
Make? It's going to make out of a treasure!


HWotD:
hōkū - star
"ho-kooh"

Overheard at school this week...

Yes, you can come to my house. I have Buzz Lightyear.


No elbows on the table. (said by student)
What do elbows do? (said by teacher)
They make muscles. (said by student while flexing like this)


Excuse me, teacher.
Yes, student? (I hate it when kids don't know my name. I've been there since August.)
I think one of those kids are bothering my note (aka piece of paper). I put it on the ground and they stole it. (Sitll holding the note. Turning to other students) Guys, I telled on you.
(I think he is the male version of Junie B.)


Really? Can I have it tonight? Please daddy, can I have some squid tonight? I'll be good, I promise!



So, like we so often do, we asked one of the students what he wants to be when he grows up. He responded, "A neesaw." Great. Anyone have any idea what a neesaw is? We asked him where he saw a neesaw. "It was on tv." I asked every question imaginable, going way beyond 20 questions. All I figured out was that it wasn't a teacher, doctor, pilot, fisherman, dancer, athlete, pastor, jockey, dentist, chef, baker, soldier, ship captain (I tried ;) !) , farmer, mailcarrier, grocer, or any other thing I could think of. It would have been easy if he was a girl - girls at that age want to be princesses when they grow up (at least in my school). All you have to do is guess the vintage - Snow White, Cinderella, Ariel, Jasmine... But anyway, I took Mark to our director who has dealt with kids for years and has the same southern drawl as this student. She asked him what "neesaws" wear. With no luck. The most we could get out of him was that they jump on buildings... but not off buildings. Any guesses as to what he wants to be when he grows up???



HWotD:
huinahā paʻa pilipā - trapezoid
"hoo-ee-nah-haaah paah-aaah pee-lee-paaah"

I think I'll be washing my hair that day.

There's a girl in my preschool class that is just too cute. She got her hair cut and said, "it's sweet and sassy." Yes, dear, it is. She's three going on twenty three.

So I came into class the other day and she had a picture she drew for me. She handed it to me and put one hand on her hip and flicked her other wrist to make a limp hand as she said, "This is for you. Hang it on your 'frigderador door." I don't have any family in New York, but I imagine she does.

I thanked her for such a beautiful picture and promised her that I would indeed "hang it on my 'frigderador door." I told her that "someday you'll have to come to my house and see it."

She replied, "Oh, someday. I can't do that. I'm going to Jenny's house for a sleepover that day."

Yeah. Come to think of it, someday doesn't work for me either.


HWotD:
'oia - really, that's so, that's right
"oy-ya"

For a person who constantly says, "for real?!?" in English, this is the perfect Hawaiian word. Now I just have to figure out how to say "get out!"

From the mouths of babes...

I have a lot of fun at school asking the kids questions just to see what responses I'll get.

Most days, they're simple questions.
Question one - What do you want to be when you grow up?

x- a construction worker
j - a professional football, baseball, and basketball player (yes, all three)
a - a princess

But Rachel turned the question to me. She asked, "Miss Julie, what are you going to be when you grow up?"

I replied, "A teacher." (gee, one of my students doesn't think I'm grown up.)

She said, "no you're not. You're going to be a doctor."

Where was she 10 years ago when I was trying to figure out a major?

Question two:
Another teacher asked our kids who God is. They immediately pointed to the ceiling. Everyone knows God is up there. She then asked who Jesus is.

N said, "Jesus is like a little fairy. He has a little hat on him."

W said, "And Jesus is watching if you take a good nap." (coming from someone who has a bad history of taking naps)

Z said she has a picture of Jesus at her house and said, "Jesus has a long beard and a pointy hat."

Apparently Jesus is a lot like Santa Claus and an elf?? We have our work cut out for us.


HWotD:
mai'a - banana
"my-ee-ah"