... When we were in the car, just having returned from the doctor. We heard it. My sweet girl asked me what *that* noise was. And I lied to her. I couldn't tell her what I thought it really was, what I was afraid it was, what it turned out to be. The kids in the playground at the school were quickly ushered back into their school. I hurried us in the house. We waited. Then the sirens started. And they didn't stop for a long time. People slowly eventually left their shelters again and whispered about what went wrong. It took hours to finally hear the truth. By then the helicopter had come and gone and the police officer had been in surgery for most of that time. He had been shot during a routine traffic stop. In my neighborhood.
I never wanted to have to figure out if was safer to stay put in the car or brave the open air for a run to the house. I never wanted to lie to my girl - but how do you explain a gunshot to a 3 year old? I don't want it. Take it back.
It's strange. My safe place wasn't safe for me today. It let me down. I feel vulnerable, and not in a life-giving, heart-sharing way. Vulnerable. Exposed. Betrayed.
5 comments:
Oh no goodness! That is absolutely awful.
I am so sorry you had to go through that.
Beautifully said, friend.
It is so unsettling to hear that pop. Brad and I were driving around, looking at neighborhoods in which to buy a condo. Maybe two months ago. We drove down a street in Rogers Park and heard three pops, then saw a kid down the street put something in his waistband and run toward our car. We just ducked down until he ran by us, completely bewildered and surprised at the situation. News reports said no one was killed, but just being in proximity rocked my world for quite a while. Be so gentle with your dear heart while it recovers.
Jules, so glad you are blogging again. What can I say - I love the fact that your word for 2013 is community . I am sorry to hear about that undescribable sound and the consequences that come with that and very supportive of your move. I love the ballet pics and hope I can help you in some way to make the move easier!
Lou x
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